hackoff.com Back to Blook
  hackoff.com does not require a college degree for any position. We understand that some of the worldís greatest programmers including Bill Gates and our own Dom Montain were too busy coding to finish college.

We are an equal opportunity employer but we hire only the best! Donít apply for a job here unless you are insanely great at what you do.

Senior hackoff Developer

Must be thoroughly familiar with the latest hacker tricks and techniques. No questions asked about how you got that way. You will be battling the best of the bad guys; we have to win.

Must know the guts of NT and at least one version of UNIX. Must be proficient in either 68000 or Intel family assembly language. Knowledge of interrupt handlers and real-time programming required. C++ yadayadayada assumed. If you canít learn a language by looking at some code, donít apply.

Stamina required for forty-eight hour coding marathons. Must be available for work at all hours and emergency assignments. Some but not much travel required.

Applicants for this position will be tested in several ways.

Junior hackoff Developer

There is no such thing. This is for big boys and girls only.

Director of Customer Care

The Director of Customer Care is responsible for developing, deploying and managing all aspects of hackoff.com's comprehensive customer care experience. The Director of Customer Care will be expected to contribute at a senior management level. Other responsibilities include:

 • Identifying and forecasting customer needs and requirements
 • Assuring that customer security is not breached through customer care
 • Identifying possible hacker attacks in patterns of customer complaints
 • Keeping customers calm

The Director of Customer Care must have excellent communication and organizational skills, display a rigorous work ethic and possess the initiative and independent thinking to thrive in an unstructured and dynamic start-up environment. No one is going to baby you. Probably no one will even thank you.

Must be able to manage and that includes identifying and firing nonperformers quickly. It is possible that hackers will attempt to infiltrate the ranks of customer care associates; it's your job to keep them out. Customer care will grow with the number of customers.

Portfolio Manager

We have a multimillion dollar portfolio of customer securities to monitor. hackoff is literally an investor in its customersí success. Although it is not our current policy to liquidate these positions, liquidity events do occur. Moreover, the portfolio must be managed and we must keep current on corporate events at our portfolio companies.

Experience in managing a large portfolio is required but we donít want any white shoe bankers. These are dotcom companies and you can only succeed in this job by understanding the dotcom business. You will have to convince us that you have what it takes.

HackOff            Current as of March 8, 1999
This is a faux company site designed to accompany the book hackoff.com.